Friday, March 5, 2010

Tit-for-Tat

Yesterday there was unnecessary drama on my message board and I will say today I have cooled off but my mind still keeps going back to some particular things that were said.

The fact is it is public and people will post what they want but I feel I have been a trooper and quite supportive and the more I would think about it last night the more I felt tit-for-tat because to me I felt my news was deemed (by some, not all) as you are no longer welcomed here. The three things that stick out for me that were said are:

"I have x amount of losses and it's hard for me to see or hear about certain things"
My t-f-t: I'm tied or I do have the most losses on this board with 5!

"I have been there for x amount of months and it's hard to hear about updates"
My t-f-t: I'm have been on this board before some of these people even started trying.

"There is another board for them to go to, that's why it's here"
My t-f-t: I spent a lot of fucking time here and I held your hand so now you're going to hold mine.

Don't treat me like I don't know because I do.

I could go on but it's not a contest of who has it worse because a loss is a loss, I just expect the same support I have handed out over the years. You know what, maybe they weren't here when I lost Patrick or my losses after him but show the exact kind of support and courtesy you expect to receive. In fact I can't help but wonder if any of these people who felt this way acted differently when at the time things was OK with them? I have a gut feeling it wasn't one post and then they were gone but that's just a guess. I will not be treated like I don't know what they are going through because the fact is the numbers are stacked against me as they have been in the past and I know that nothing is for sure. I just have to keep praying and hopefully have support from these girls. The same girls I shared things with that right now my own family (well Sean's family) and closest friend don't know.

As my one awesome friend said I have earned my right to be here. That ticker below is the same hope I have AS EVERY SINGLE WOMAN ON THE BOARD DOES, FOR A HEALTHY BABY. It has nothing to do with not opening a post, it has to do with giving the same exact support that you want to receive whether you're venting, sad or happy.

The thing is I will still pray for every single girl over there and when their time comes (and again, I pray it's soon) I will be there congratulating them and asking God to please let this be the success that they deserve to be blessed with.

currently listening to Oasis' Supersonic

3 comments:

  1. I wasn't around yesterday, but I'm part of the "I love seeing my friends who are pg" camp. I stalk the other board for updates constantly. I realize some people are just not in as good a place (emotionally) as I am. I hope it cools down soon. <3

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  2. I can understand both sides, I really do. I've been the bitter bitch who doesn't care and doesn't want to read about betas and ultrasounds and blablabla.

    I've been the person on the other side of the baby fence with a (so far) successful pregnancy, even then I've had some minor issues that scared the crap out of me.

    While I had felt that way, I would never SAY that. No matter how shitty of a day I had, no matter how many years I'd been trying over 2 thanks.) I've felt that exact same was as the poster and ranted and raved---in my head. I don't see how it was helpful to broadcast the disdain for the success of others. (while I keep in mind--just b/c I'm pregnant today, doesn't mean I'll be pregnant tomorrow.)I get the bitter. I do. I've been there. I don't get the need to air it out and make people feel as badly as they do at that particular moment. Honestly, I probably won't be back, but I'm probably over reacting and will be back, lol.

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