I Feel Like I'm Keeping Some Shameful Secret

Before I go into my blog I have to talk about my Gracie. On Monday it was 1 year since my sweet baby passed away. She was the best dog in the world and I miss her klutzy butt so much. Not a single day goes by that I don't think of her and miss her. I know Gracie is playing with Patrick because every little boy should have a dog and that does bring me some comfort. And I'm still keeping the name as Gracie on our list if we are having a girl because there is nothing better than telling your 16 year old snotty teenage daughter that she's named after the dog.

OK, so now on with secret. I have barely been pregnant for 3 weeks and yet it feels like forever and I think the reason is because we're still keeping it on the down-low. I know I'm so early but because we have been going through this process for so long it seems like it always comes up as topic from family and friends of what's the latest, especially with us going through the adoption process. And when I talk/respond to them I feel like I'm lying, just a big fat (well bloated) pregnant liar. People ask what's new and I don't tell them about my 3 appointments and 1 u/s, I say "oh nothing, just the same as always" but it's nowhere near the same as always, it's the opposite as always. And another thing is if something was to happen I would tell them about the loss so in that aspect I feel like I'm only sharing the bad with them and not the good. We are still going to keep quiet about it (except for the people who know at work since I sit nowhere near the bathroom and my trash bin has become my personal close buddy...you're welcome co-workers) but maybe we'll talk about it more after my next ultrasound on Tuesday.

OK, time to wrap this bad boy up, have to get home soon, Sean's making tacos! Doesn't take much to make me happy these days.
Tacos = yah!
I can fasten my pants = yah!
The dogs water bowl is full = yah!

Nope, doesn't take much.

currently listening to Beastie Boys' Shake Your Rump